What's love got to do with it? What's love but a second hand emotion? Tina Turner hit it right on the money with that song. I can picture her now sashaying across the stage with those long legs and wild, sexy hair flying all over the place as she bellows out those lyrics straight from the heart. Lord knows, she could be the spokeswoman for that song because being married to Ike was no walk through the daisies.
It's amazing how when we are young and haven't experienced life yet, songs are listened to for the beat and the rhythm. It's only later, when we are older and wiser, that we listen to and relate to the lyrics behind the songs. We can relate because we have been there and done that.
Reflecting back on the last few turbulent months of my life, I realize I have changed, really I had no choice but to change, from a naïve, young woman, who thought she knew it all, into a mature, wiser woman. You see, I have learned that life has a way of teaching us hard lessons about love. And believe me, there are many lessons to be taught, lessons learned only by living them. You have to go through them and survive to truly understand.
Sometimes, the only way is to live life, learn from our mistakes and move on. Unfortunately, when it comes to love, for a lot of us, it takes a while longer to get to that moving on stage. A lot of us have to be taught the lesson over and over again before we finally get it. Women, throughout history, have played the fool for love, and you know what, we probably always will. It has been drilled into us from birth that to be truly happy we need a man in our life and in our beds. I'm sure I can get some amens to that.
The lessons I have learned are quite simple. Lesson number one: The entire concept of love is a bunch of pure, one hundred percent, unadulterated bullshit. Love doesn't conquer all or solve all our problems; if anything, love probably complicates matters. Once love comes into the picture, it totally changes things. You definitely can't live off of it when your symbol of love is beating you down.
Lesson number two: Never, never, never, I repeat never, let a man, no matter how much you love him or he claims to love you, control your life or become your life. Before you know it you have lost your identity and ultimately yourself. I swear on my daddy's grave that will never, ever, happen to me---AGAIN.
If I ever have children, especially a daughter, I'm going to teach her that fairy tales are just that---fairy tales. There isn't a black knight in shining armor who's going to ride into your life and love you, protect you and cherish you forever. That shit only happens in the movies. In real life, love usually comes with a price.
They say there comes a time in every man's life when he has to stand up and be a man. He has to make a decision that is going to affect the rest of his life. Yet, there is no turning back. Well, that time has come for me. My life is now divided as "before the incident" and "after the incident".
Love can make us do some crazy shit. That little four-letter word was never in my vocabulary until recently. Hell, I am, or should I say was, one of the biggest players out there. Don't take that the wrong way. I am honest about who and what I am... no games, just straight-up, upfront honesty. That's what the women of the 90's want...right?
Don't get me wrong. I'm just not about to settle down and do the "family thing"; that is all so boring and predictable. I honestly believe that I wasn't born to be monogamous; it's not in my genes. Therefore, I'm not going to live my life based on a lie.
Like I said before, I'm straight up. I'm not about playing these bullshit games. I'm too old for that shit. I let them know right up front... I am NOT about commitment, falling in love, marriage, children or the white picket fence. I'm enjoying my life to the fullest and their company at that particular moment in time. If they have any other ideas then they had better step.
But when love calls your name, you can't run away no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to. I should know because I know I tried. In fact, I thought I was running a marathon. But I fell in love with a lady who has the face of an angel and a heart of gold. Mia... that's her name. Mia. I think I loved her the first time I laid eyes on her. She literally touched my heart and I have never been the same since. No one else could ever make me feel this way.
I was in denial for a long time, trying to run from the truth, but the truth has a funny way of finding your ass. Mia is damn near perfect and I would willingly give up my life for her. That's some heavy shit coming from me, but I would with no hesitation. There is one small problem. Actually, it is quite a major problem. Mia doesn't love me because she only has eyes for my best friend, Brice, her husband.
Yeah, there comes a time when you have to do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing involves hurting people you don't want to hurt. But hey, life is full of disappointment, betrayal and pain. I should know.
Mrs. Brice Matthew. Mrs. Mia Matthew. Mia Matthew. Life is good. I still can't believe I actually met, fell in love and married my black knight in shining armor. Fairy tales do come true; I'm witness to that. Mama and Uncle Larry are always saying that I am a hopeless romantic. Yes, I cry watching sappy love stories and yes, I want that kind of love. A love where when I see HIM, my legs tremble, my heart rate speeds up and when I look into his eyes, I know my meaning for living. Now that's love. I truly believe, though, that there is one special person out there for each and every one of us: a soul mate. Once you meet that person your life is complete.
Brice... I love that man so much. I love everything about him from his sexy, penetrating brown eyes, his sensuous lips that kiss my neck, my breasts and every place imaginable, to his strong hands with his long, trim fingers that know just where to stroke.... the list goes on and on.
Brice is everything I have ever wanted in a man and more. I have to pinch myself every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up to make sure I'm not dreaming. I know, I know, he has me whipped. And you'd best believe I love every minute of it and every inch of him.
Don't get me wrong now, Brice is not perfect. Oh man, Brice is by no means perfect. He has a fiery temper that he can't control, he has a possessive nature and he loves me too much. Yeah, too much. Sometimes it's suffocating. I'll get into that later. For now, I am going to continue lying here basking in the afterglow of good, no great lovemaking while I watch my husband sleep like a newborn baby.
Mia is the love of my life. I have always dreamed of marrying a woman like her. She is beautiful, intelligent, sexy and everything a man could want in a woman. I wanted to have the type of marriage that my parents had when I was growing up. After 30+ years of marriage, they are still kicking it and still very much in love.
Mia is younger than me, eight years to be exact. She's only twenty-two years old. That concerned me in the beginning because I felt that she needed to do some more growing up, which she does, but then I realized that she was still at an age where she could be molded. I know that sounds old-fashioned and makes me sound like a male chauvinist or something, but I am none of the above. Mia has her own mind and can do whatever she wants to do to an "extent". She is still learning what that "extent" is. My daddy didn't take any mess from his wife, my Moms, and I don't intend to either. Mia thinks I am too possessive of her. I tell her that I am just being a man and I intend to wear the pants in my family. She can learn that the easy way or the hard way.
Before I met Mia, my boy Christian and me were out there. And I do mean out there. We were never at a loss for women and pussy. There is something about a man in uniform that turns a lot of women on. Women love Marines. And I love women. If Mia ever knew some of the shit that we did, she probably would never have married me. I can't even believe some of the things that we did to get some, but those days are gone for me. I am totally committed to Mia.
When I want some all I have to do is roll over and spread her legs wide and she is always willing and ready. All my years of experience have paid off because I can do some shit to Mia that drives her out of her mind. She'll be screaming, arching that tiny back with her perky breasts begging to be stroked, calling out my name and coming in her panties before I can even get it in good. Then she'll have those long, slim legs wrapped around my waist so that she can take all of me inside of her. Yeah, Mia is definitely dick whipped; she totally gives her body to me with no inhibitions.